“As I walked…toward the gate …I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”

… Nelson Mandela

birds fly over the open gateAs a leader, do you sometimes wonder what “prisons” you are in?  Or have you wondered what “prisons” you may have inadvertently created for your team members?

Bitterness and hatred shows up frequently in the workplace, disguised as gossip and criticism of the leader, another team member, other departments or company policies, processes and procedures.  Have you taken the time, paused to reflect on how you might be adding to the bitterness in your own work setting?

A leader is observed.  AND observed…AND observed again.  Your team and colleagues and boss are watching you…and then modeling what you do!

Suppose you are frustrated, maybe even angry with a co-worker.  Do you find yourself joining in or starting a conversation ABOUT this person, and then doing it again and again?  Have you noticed that your bitterness and hatred of this person grows and prevents you from successfully working on the relationship, real time, face-to-face with this person?  Have you noticed that others are quick to come to you with complaints and bitterness about others…with no solution(s) on how to positively improve the relationship?

Walk toward a different gate.  Commit yourself to stop complaining about someone TO anyone else. Commit yourself to creating conversations focused on authentic relationship building, face-to-face, with your most troublesome people.  Notice what happens.  Use your coach to help you create strategies for getting out of your prison of bitterness and hatred.  Try it for 30 days.  That’s all.

Your Thoughts?





Next, let’s talk about how to sustain this practice, so you can become the leader you are meant to be.

One Response to “As I walked…toward the gate …I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
  1. Tiffany Lynn Lepp
    January 14, 2014 | 9:09 pm

    Cindy, great post!

    Bitterness and hatred take so much energy.

    Personally, when I find myself frustrated I try to shift that energy toward something positive and talk and think about an upcoming project that excites me.

    It’s hard, but I only have so much energy in one day and I prefer it not get wasted on negative thoughts.

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.

Trackback URL http://cindycharlton.com/as-i-walkedtoward-gate-i-knew-if-i-didnt-leave-my-bitterness-hatred-behind-id-still-be-prison/trackback/